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Verbal de escalation or feeding the ego


It doesn't matter how well trained one is or if one is in the right. It is always best to avoid a fight on the street unless there is no other option and your safety or life is in danger. There are just so many variables when one fights on the street, that no matter how well trained one is, the fight can swing in anyone's favour at any moment. 

Usually a fight, physical assault etc begins with an argument or one person is getting aggressive, abusive, showing signs of getting physical, trying to get up close etc. These are cues that we should use to increase the distance between us and the possible attacker. 

In such a situation we have 2 options, either we stay calm and just do our best to verbally de escalate the situation or we feed our ego and try to show who we are, or how right we are and so on. It doesn't matter if we are right and the possible attacker is in the wrong, just apologise and try to diffuse the situation. 

Giving into your ego and responding to aggression or abuses with aggression and abuses will only result in a fight, whose outcome both parties do not know about. Maybe the attacker just had a bad day or is going through some mental imbalances or is going through a tough phase in life etc and us responding to him or her being rude, abusive etc is enough to trigger them into violence. So many of us respond to someone driving rash or cutting us off on the road by hurling abuses at them. This is enough for someone looking for a reason to explode all their anger, rage and frustration out onto us with violence. Yes they are wrong to drive like that but trying to feed our ego by wanting to show that they are wrong is the perfect recipe for violence. 

When confronted by someone who is edging to shift gears from words to fists, take a step or two back, try to talk to them calmly yet assertively. Be kind and gentle with your words, apologise if required but maintain the distance, keep the hands up in a non threatening or non aggressive manner and be calm but ready incase push comes to shove.

Always try to diffuse a situation but also be ready to immobilize the attacker as soon as the the first punch or grab is about to be executed. Always call the law enforcement agencies. Do not use excessive force, just enough to immobilize the attacker till law enforcement arrives. All this needs regular training. No short workshop or few months course can achieve it. It is regular training everyday, that is the only way.

Self defense is not just about learning to throw the right punch or execute a perfect throw or takedown. Self defense is about training for war but also training in trying everything to avoid the war in the first place. It is how we talk, walk, observe and react. All this has to be taught and worked on repetitively till it just becomes you. 

Train like a warrior to be a warrior!!!

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